Pitfalls of Online Dating

I have been divorced for over two years, and without a spouse for over nine. As the old saying goes, "You can get used to anything." But I would like to add, "Sort of."

When I started this blog, I decided to try a few different adventures, and one of them was to take the plunge and join an online dating service. Up until now, I had no desire to go out or date. When I started the blog, I thought that this might be a good adventure to pursue. It was fun seeing flirts, hits, and smiley faces from unknown men saying that I was cute. Some of the men on the site were from other states, and I thought that I was safe.

Then my son said, "This will be good for you, Mom,, but you should try to actually respond to their flirts and send them an email." That seemed easy and harmless. Eventually, there was one man that looked nice enough and he kept sending me flirts. He was in his mid 50s and he looked cute. I thought, okay, I'm interested. I sent out my first flirt. Two weeks went by before I heard anything. Then he sent me his email address and said to contact him that way because every time he would try to send me an email, it wouldn't go through. I took a deep breath, and send out an email by using my generic email address and not my personal one.

The next day when I checked my email...Bingo! I received a long email, which went something like you are beautiful, you are my special someone, your eyes are shining diamonds, and you look like an angel. Whoa! Was he on drugs, or blind, or what? He told me a little bit about himself, along with his likes and dislikes, and that he was a widower with a child. Then he added that he would be moving to my area! Well so much for my feeling safe.

I actually know people that have used various dating sites. A few of my friends have shared their stories about their friends dating and getting married, and how they seemed quite happy. One close friend related the story about how one guy hit her up for money to invest in a 'Drive In Movie Theater.' Like those are really thriving! Another friend told me the story of how her friend met a guy on online dating, who just got out of prison, and another potential date admitted to accidentally killing his wife. Another person told me how a colleague corresponded and met a man who was in prison. When he was released, he stayed with her, and emptied out her saving. It took a long time before she ever got that money back.

Before I received that first email, I felt flushed with excitement that someone would find me interesting. After receiving the email, I felt vulnerable. The man's email made me wonder, am I a target? How many other women received this same email? Was I a potential mother image for a man with a child? Or, was he just a lonely man looking for someone? There was just too much information in his email. I guess I am not that special someone. My trust level is pretty low, maybe even gone. I have been there (married once), and I don't ever want to go back to a place where you love someone, only to have him leave, and you have to pick up the pieces and heal yourself.

My dating email, filled with flirts, winks, smiles, and hits are now directed to my junk mail. I don't want to know every detail of a stranger's life. I guess I am just not ready for online dating.

Does anyone else have any experiences, good or bad, about online dating? Would you be willing to share them?