Can We Keep It? Please!

I bet everyone has heard these words… Can we keep it? Maybe the “it” was a kitten, cat, or dog, or any other type of animal. I know when my kids were younger, they used to “find” stray animals one way or another. Or one of our meaningful friends or neighbors would happily give my children one of their cats from their over-populated home. And we most definitely got a lot of our animals with the lines, “Look what I found. Can I keep it?”

Some of the other animals that lived with us were dumped off in our yard, and my kids would find them huddled and freezing in front of our garage doors, or in front of our front door. Sometimes, I would go into one of their rooms where the door was tightly shut and I would hear a strange noise. I would open the door and find a kitty or even a dog behind door #1.

One time our piano teacher gave my kids a mother cat and her two kittens, which lived under her porch. Another time, we took in a full blown Irish Setter for a friend who was moving away and couldn’t keep the dog. That lasted for less than a week because someone in our house was allergic to dogs, and the big playful Irish Setter scared some of our little ones. Eventually, though, we owned our share of cats, turtles, fish, rabbits, iguana, and more.

But whenever I would hear those horrifying words - “Can we keep it?” - I felt a cold hand of terror clutching my heart. It was just one more thing to take care of in my overwhelming life of kids and animals.

My KP Duty and More

For the past few days, I have been going into my daughter’s catering kitchen to help out. Two of her full time workers at the Deli ended up in the hospital. While she worked at the Deli, I was left with a list of things to do.

I worked alone and off the list and pretty much got things done. I wasn’t as fast as I could have been but I didn’t want to make any mistakes or screw anything up. Like a military person on KP…I quartered a box of redskins and then tossed them with salt, pepper, fresh garlic, and olive oil. I baked five sheet trays of potatoes. I pureed the cloves of garlic, and mixed sausage with other ingredients. The mixture would be used to stuff mushrooms. I made 25 small soufflés using puff pastry, cutting each down to fit, sprinkling three cheeses on the bottom, preparing the egg mixture, and baking them.

 Finally, I pulled out the box of sweet potatoes and started working on them. I had to cut them into half-moons and place them in pails of water. The sweet potatoes were huge and were hard to cut. When there were two buckets filled with the half-moons, my hands were too sore to finish the nine other potatoes. In between all of this, I ran the dishwasher and put things away, wiped down the counters and called it a day. My hands and fingers and I would have tomorrow to recuperate. But I would end up babysitting.

I returned to the kitchen on Friday, and started working on my list. I got to stuff the mushrooms, cut up pita bread into wedges. Then I tackled the vegetables…I pulled out a hotel pan and placed damp paper towels on the bottom and added rows of vegetables for a Pasta Primavera that would be assembled for the wedding. My pan held black olives, cut up zucchini, squash, onions, tomatoes, and roasted red peppers. This would be covered with damp paper towels, wrapped with plastic, and placed in the Walk-in.

I also cut up more vegetables…red peppers, orange peppers, green peppers, squash, zucchini, carrots and celery and arranged two vegetable platters. Those, too, were covered tightly and stored in the walk-in.

Next, I pulled out a large plastic tub and mixed the salad for 170 people, cutting up cucumbers, onions, and tomatoes, adding olives, mixing it up and them placing it in a huge clear salad bowl. I added tomatoes, cucumbers, olives and onions to the top, wrapped this tightly and stored it on a shelf in the walk in.

While I added the ingredients to the commercial mixer for the Spinach Dip, I started on the 14 dozen dates, removing the pits from them. These would be used for the Devils on Horseback appetizer.

Finally, my fingers and hands became so sore that I couldn’t complete this job. I had been in the kitchen since 7:45, and it was now 3:30. In between the food work, I kept running the dishwasher, putting everything away, and wiping down the counters.

Just an after-thought…I realized that when people look at the food that is served at the weddings, they probably think that it takes a few hours to put it together. I really don’t think they realize all the hours and days that go into prepping, cutting, and making the food taste and look good at the wedding.

I left the kitchen in high spirits knowing that it would be closed until March for all catering events. There are no more weddings until March. Hopefully my hand, fingers and thumbs will be pain free by then. For now, I’m going to enjoy my time away from the kitchen.

Divorce Still Stings

I was talking to a friend about divorce the other day. My friend is young, with three children and she was sharing her story with me. It is so amazing that everything she said, I understood totally. I felt her pain. I understood her lost, her emptiness, but mostly her tears.

It is important to have people to talk to when you are going through a divorce. It can’t be your children because it is important for them not to take sides. Even though you would love them to say, I have your back and I understand. It is nice to have someone tell you that things will work out in the end, that you will land on your feet, that you will live to take another deep breath, and that you will survive.

I understood my friend’s frustration of being married and following the rules and doing the right thing, only to end up on the short end of things., only to end up frustrated and lonely. I felt her frustration knowing that she would be the one raising those kids most of the time, she would worry about finances and her desire to have someone share her life with her.

I laughed when she asked me if I ever dated after my divorce. No, was my response. I never dated, not because I hate men. I will be honest…hate is a very personal thing. And as a Catholic hatred is wrong. But hatred also keeps you from moving forward. I do reserve a bitter dislike for my ex though. Maybe that is close to hatred as I have moved toward. But no, I have no desire to date. Maybe because I am older and more set in my ways. Maybe it is because I have become that crazy cat woman who lives alone and likes it. I do not want to meet anyone and lose myself in that process and end up on the short end of things ever again.

Divorce is lonely. Divorce makes you belong to a club that you do not choose to be in. When your divorce is finalized, you don’t realize that it is you and only you. No one has your back. You wake up alone, go to bed alone, there is no one to ask advice from, there is always that empty chair across from you, no one to watch television with, and no one to laugh with.

Other people who have never gone through divorce do not know how you feel. They can commiserate or tell you that their spouse is away for the night or for a few days and they understand how you feel. But the reality is that they come back home, that it is only temporary, that they are not left alone every night, every week, every month. or every year. Those are the real facts.

I told my friend to get into a group and talk to other people. Talk is the key to help you get through this horrible time. Even if it is better to be apart, you still have all those ups and downs. And yes, men do have it better. They go off to their bachelor pad and they see their kids on the weekends or cancel if they have a business trip. They don’t have to worry about packing their lunches, cleaning their clothes, feeding them, taking them to their extra-curricular practices, having their friends over and just being there for them. I know that sometimes the man is the one who got left, and is taking care of the children. But men are lucky in the fact that they seem to meet someone else, quicker and easier. I also know for a fact that I never had anyone set me up with a date and I chose not to go to a bar to find a guy or didn’t even try a dating service. So much for all of that.

As for my friend…as we talked her tears came and went a number of times. She is just at the painful beginning of things but the reality of what is ahead is what is hitting her. She and I are in a club, the divorce club. We never chose it for ourselves. But we are there. I will help her anyway I can. But I do know there will be a lot of tears along the way. And then one day they will stop. Like me, my young friend will be able to breathe easier and she, too, will survive all of this. But deep down, there will still be a pain that never seems to heal, completely.

Traying

The other day while checking Facebook I saw the Kent State University Alumni Association Facebook Page and there was a question asking - who remembers “Traying down the Front Campus Hill?” Then it followed an invitation to join others on the KSU campus on January 24, from 1-3 to relive that tradition which is now known as Tray Fest.

I probably won’t sign up for the Tray Fest but it did bring back memories of traying on campus when I was a student at Kent. I remember grabbing a tray from the cafeteria with my friends and other students. We used the trays to go down the Front Campus Hill or Blanket Hill. Everyone did it. It was fun.

I also remember “panty raids” and after the first spring rain… “Mud fights”. If you were around the area with all the mud you would get into a mud fight or get picked up and thrown into the mud.  Along with that memory, I remember walking through the campus on my way to class on Wednesdays when there was a handful of protestors with signs to Stop the War In Viet Nam.

When I was a freshman we had to wear navy blue beanies with a K on the front. As we passed the upper classmen, they would say “Dink, Frosh.” A freshman would tip their beanie; give their name, home town, and what dorm they were living in.

There are some other good memories, like attending a fraternity Toga Party or Las Vegas Casino Party where they set up the frat house like a casino.

I also remember the black squirrels that ran around the campus and the sign on the grass that read, “Grass grows by the inch and dries by the foot.”

Back when I went to college, I studied a lot but there was always time to have fun. I came away from Kent with not only a degree in journalism, but with a number of good memories of my four years at Kent State University!

It's Winter!

I knew it was coming – the arctic blast, the frigid temperatures, icy roads, and snow. I mean what was I thinking? It’s January after all. It’s winter!

Now after all the busy business of November and December, and the holidays are over, so is the running around. Now is the time to sit back and relax. The cold makes me shiver, but it also makes me not want to leave the warmth of my house. Heaven knows that I have a lot to keep me busy, indoors, like cleaning out closets and drawers and discarding unnecessary things. I also have some winter projects to keep me busy, like working on writing a book about each of my grandchildren, making another baby blanket, putting together a fleece blanket for a late Christmas gift.

I know getting more serious about my own writing and blogging would benefit more from my full attention. So would my project to get the tape and sticky objects off one of the bedrooms walls that my one granddaughter used when she lived here. I need to smooth the walls and repaint them. But, the room has been waiting for me to do just that for close to 5 years. So, what’s the hurry?

I guess procrastination is the word that comes to mind. Or maybe it is the waiting and looking forward to spring, where I can start planning on what to plant in my front yard. After 20 years, I finally had some trees removed. They were so overgrown that they blotted out the sun and no one could see the front of my house. With the trees gone, it will now allow for the sun to make its appearance and for things to actually be able to grow, again. Now, I will be able to plant and maintain a full sun garden in the front of my house.

I think about all the things that I can do but I still procrastinate. It is now 9:30 a.m., and I am still sitting on my chair, with my gym clothes on, looking out my window at the snow, ice, and frigid looking outdoors, and still I keep putting everything off. Maybe one more cup of coffee will help? Maybe? But then maybe I am just in my winter mode.

Knitting a Baby Blanket

In the last couple of years – I have spent hours and weeks making a number of baby blankets for various grandchildren. Recently, I made a replacement blanket for my youngest grandson, who besides loving his blanket has been slowly pulling the yarn from it. His blanket is sort of an aphrodisiac or drug for him, where he holds it to his nose, or sucks on it, or tries to pull the yarn with his teeth. Like, Linus, he can be seen pulling his blanket behind him. Now he has two of the same blankets – same pattern and same color, to destroy.

Now, I am heading to the yarn store and purchasing more baby yarn. My 21^st grandchild, a boy, will be making his appearance in May. This grandson will make the 6^th Gauntner grandson vs. 15 granddaughters!

I love my grandchildren. I love to knit. I also doubt that this will be the last grandchild or the last blanket that I knit!

Enjoying the little Moment

The other evening, I was running around in my house  doing a number of things when my daughter stopped in with her little boy and asked me if I would watch him while she went to the grocery store.

For a while, Will and I played with toys. Then I could see his day-time battery was wearing out. He whimpered. I put the pacifier in his mouth, handed him his blue baby blanket, and he cuddled up in my lap, on the chair. We were watching the Disney channel, and Will slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

While Will was sleeping, all the things that I wanted to do just melted away. My mind slowed down and all I could do was relax with Will and enjoy the moment. That was when I realized that everything else didn’t matter and it all could wait. I was totally relaxed and focused on my grandson, drinking in his little baby smell, watching how peaceful and angelic he looked at that moment, sleeping in my arms. This was a moment to savor and enjoy my grandson…and I was enjoying every precious moment.