The Dead and Cherry Garcia

Going to my doctor for a check-up is just part of life. It is hard to see your former doctor retire. I enjoyed the old camaraderie with her. She retired and now I have a new one and that doctor happens to be so young…that he can actually be my son. No more explanation is needed.

In the past, I usually had some rapport with my physician. I could joke and she would joke in return. Joking and laughter was pretty much how I handle most things in life. It helps. But my latest doctor is so serious or he would rather deal with younger patients. Every time I go and have a check-up, I leave with a feeling of being so old; older than dirt. I am in good health. My weight is normal, I exercise, I work a few times a week, I drive my grandchild a few days a week back and forth to school, and hang out with my grandchildren.

But some of the questions that I am asked by the nurse or doctor makes me roll my eyes and not want to respond. When I do…I act feel a complete idiot. Well, how do you answer your physician when he says, “So, if you were to drop to the ground, here…what would you want me to do?” I thought he was talking about my living will, or did I drop because I had done more than a day fast for the blood test this day, or did he want me to do a set of push-ups?

I was confused and said something like, “Well, I have a living will.”

Which he responded, “No, this is different. What if something happened and you dropped to the office floor?”

I assumed my heart gave out or I passed out and said in a dry voice, “Nudge me with your toe and give it the old college try and see if you can revive me.” But in my mind I was thinking, “What the hell!”

By the time I leave the doctor’s office, I am grateful that I am in good health. I hate going to see my doctor but I have to have my blood checked every six months. So, the next time when I am asked some of these questions, hopefully, I can respond with something much better. Or maybe I can say, “What if you drop to the floor, what you would like me to do, Doc?”

I’m not quite sure how doctors are being trained but I hope when my time comes…I will just drop over and no one will be around to ask me, “What do you want me to do?” But maybe my response should be, “Just play a Grateful Dead song and eat a container of Cherry Garcia in my honor.”